The pools
On Sunday night I went to the pools at 6pm. We drove there and when it was very busy. My mum, brother (Samuel.) It was at Onehunga pools.
The reason I went to the pool because I and my little brother had a swimming class. I start at 6:30 to 7:30 and my brother stats from 6pm to 6:30.
I asked my mum “is it time for swimming class?”
“Five more minutes,” my mum said.
When it was time we did breaststroke we did 2 laps after we did freestyle the teacher asked: “do you want to go first?”
“Ok,” I replied. So I went first after we did dives on the last dive my nose started to bleed. Once it started to bleed so mum said softly “I can shower early.” I asked, “if I can go out again?”
“No,” my mum says.
“It is going to end now.”
That night I felt really hungry. When we got home we ate food and then I watch some TV. Once it was time to sleep we went upstairs to sleep.
I Aisha have read your writing and I love you used dialogue and I really think that you could add more detail. Next time use elaboration.
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